Modern Street Ballads


I goes out a cab driving,
And oft the long day through,
In spite of all contriving,
I scarcely make a do.
A Hansom Cab I’ve got,
A handsome horse to trot,
      Cab, Cab, Cab, your honour, Cab,
      I’ll take you like a shot.

Now, if you’ll hear my ditty,
I’ll tell how I was done,
By a fat man in the City,
Of two and twenty stone.
I plied at Holborn Hill,
Says he, to Pentonville,
      Cab, Cab, Cab, I want a Cab,
      Drive fast and show your skill.

My horse’s eyes I kivered,
While he got in; you know
If he’d see’d his weight he’d differed
And perhaps refused to go.
To Pentonville I went,
When to me says this here gent,
      Cab, Cab, Cab, here’s some mistake,
      ’Tis Pimlico I meant.

To Pimlico I took him,
My horse as you’d suppose,
This job did nearly cook him,
When again the check string goes.
He says to me, Hallo!
Hold hard a bit, go slow,
      Cab, Cab, Cab, you’re wrong again,
      Turn back and drive to Bow.

I didn’t like to grumble,
But mounted it once more,
All the way to Bow did trundle,
Where he stopped me as before.
Says he, when there he’d rode,
This isn’t my abode,
      Cab, Cab, Cab, I think you’re drunk,
      This ain’t the Edgware Road!

Of course I felt vexatious,
But I my temper kept,
To Edgware Road, good gracious,
I took him every step.
My horse was quite done brown,
And I began to frown,
      Cab, Cab, Cab, what are you at?
      I live at Horseleydown.

To Horseleydown I drive him,
When my horse lay down—don’t grin—
But shelter none would give him,
Think’s I, he’s got no tin!
Where shall I now repair?
To the devil—I don’t care—
Not there, I guess, says I, unless
You give me my back fare!

* A parody on the very popular lied, “Trab, Trab, Trab,” sung by Fraulein Jetty Treffz at Jullien’s Promenade Concerts, 1850, etc.

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